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The Fine Balance

May be gone

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So, here's the deal. I've been dealing with depression for a long ass time. A few months ago, in September, it got really, really bad, and I was pretty fucking miserable. I considered taking my own life, and since then I've sort of been bouncing around, trying to get my shit together and figure out how to deal with it, because I'm pretty sure ignoring it would not be good.

So I'm seeing a psychiatrist, haven't yet found a therapist, but I'm on drugs. They aren't fun, and so far I haven't noticed an improvement, but I just upped my dosage so maybe they'll kick in soon. But as my psychiatrist predicted, I continue to be suicidal. So, I may be going away for a few days or weeks or whatever, to an in patient clinic. I'm not sure what they could do for me that a psychiatrist and a therapist couldn't, except watch me, but that's pretty big on its own. So don't expect me around as much, if I go through with this.

That's all I have to say, really. Later.

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Do whatever you have to do to get better. Well be here when you are ready. Depression is an ugly hard thing to beat, but it can be done. Just remember as you are going through it that it's chemical and as bad as it feels it's something you can fight with help.

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